Are you serious right now? I’m a fully certified lawyer. I can break into people’s emotions and drag suppressed memories and break witnesses, no problem. But this? This juice box? This sugary drink marketed for eight year olds? No. Sticking a straw into this juice container is apparently just too much for me to handle without fucking it up. I’m done. I quit. Goodbye.
[ presents/ santas ]
WAIT A SECOND